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Nella Giornata per l’eliminazione della violenza di genere del 25 novembre sono stati tanti gli slogan ripetuti nelle piazze e fra questi c’è “non siete sole”. Ma anche quello del padre di Giulia Cecchettin che da quando ha scoperto di avere perso sua figlia per mano di un femminicida, non smette di invitare le vittime di violenze a chiedere aiuto “al papà, al fratello o alle istituzioni”. Un padre per un padre è invece la sintesi con questa vicenda parallela emersa proprio in occasione del 25 novembre.
La chiamata del padre al centro anti violenza
"Aiutatemi ad aiutare mia figlia perché io non so cosa fare. Anzi ho paura di me stesso e di cosa potrei essere costretto a fare...pur di salvarla". Un uomo, un impiegato sui 50 anni, temendo per la vita della figlia per le continue violenze subite per oltre 5 anni dal suo compagno è riuscito a salvarla rivolgendosi ad un centro della D.i.Re - Donne in Rete contro la violenza - che dispone di 107 centri antiviolenza e 62 case rifugio sparse in tutta Italia. Da sola la giovane donna forse non ne sarebbe stata capace perché soggiogata da un uomo violento. Oggi invece ha ripreso gli studi interrotti, si è laureata, e da alcuni anni vive con il suo nuovo compagno insieme ai due gemelli avuti dall'ex.
Una spirale di violenza
Il suo aguzzino, una guardia giurata, dopo di lei ha avuto altre relazioni caratterizzate da una pesante spirale di violenza e per questo ha perso il lavoro ed è finito in carcere per maltrattamenti. Una storia a lieto fine grazie alla tenacia di un padre che non riuscendo a convincere la figlia a spezzare quel legame malato con il suo compagno è andato lui in un centro a chiedere aiuto. La storia è quella di una 23enne, nata in provincia di Ravenna, studia lingue all'università e pratica con successo lo sport, l'atletica leggera. La classica ragazza che è l'orgoglio dei suoi genitori visto sarebbe stata la prima di casa a laurearsi. Conosce un ragazzo di 25 anni, una guardia giurata e nasce una storia d'amore. "Il primo episodio avviene mentre la coppia stava passeggiando a Bologna - racconta Nadia Somma, consigliera nazionale D.i.re-Donne in Rete contro la violenza - ad un certo punto lui si scaglia contro dei ragazzi e li picchia violentemente. Mentre gli passavano accanto avevano detto: “Guarda che bella”, si riferivano ad un'auto parcheggiata al lato della strada, ma lui lo ha interpretato come un apprezzamento su di lei e li ha aggrediti.
Controllo totale e botte
Fu l'inizio di una serie di comportamenti che poi vennero indirizzati contro di lei". Lui la controllava, non voleva che uscisse con le amiche, non voleva che lei studiasse all'università costringendola ad abbandonare gli studi e andare a vivere insieme. La ragazza resta incinta di due gemelli, ma le violenze aumentano durante la gravidanza ed anche in seguito "con atteggiamenti di sadismo come quella di farla dormire sul pavimento tutta la notte in pieno inverno quando lui era arrabbiato - riferisce Nadia Somma - oppure tentativi di strangolamento o botte perché ad esempio si rifiutava di avere rapporti sessuali, fino ad arrivare a minacciarla con l'arma di servizio o a minacciare di uccidere i bambini che ormai avevano 4 anni ed assistevano alle violenze".
Il timore per i figli
A quel punto la giovane decide di confidarsi con i familiari. Il padre dice alla figlia che deve assolutamente interrompere quella relazione, ma lei teme per i gemelli e non riesce a distaccarsi. Il padre prende in mano la situazione e va in un centro antiviolenza, si informa e "su di lui - spiega la consigliera - viene fatto un lavoro, partecipa ad alcuni incontri in cui gli vengono fornite indicazioni per non essere giudicante, per non esprimere rabbia, per non perdere la pazienza, per incoraggiare la ragazza. In poco tempo, circa un mese, è riuscito a portare la ragazza al centro ed in 48 ore abbiamo trasferito la giovane e i due gemelli in una casa rifugio di un'altra regione". Nonostante avesse ormai 28 anni ai primi tre incontri la donna andò sempre accompagnata dal padre. "Sono passati dieci anni - ricorda Nadia Somma - ma lo sguardo di quel padre mi è rimasto impresso era qualcosa di veramente straziante. Era lo sguardo della paura, dell'angoscia e della disperazione". Ora lo sguardo di quel padre è quello di chi è riuscito a salvare una figlia.
